How do you know you're a douchenozzle

How do you know you're a douchenozzle?

If your news network reports that the Finnish social security provider sent the British royalty the standard maternity box (with various useful things in it for new parents), you'd be reporting on some government people being cute.

And if your news network makes the headline all about the condoms that maternity package happens to contain (among all the baby clothes, bedding, etc), you're a douchenozzle.