I always wanted straight, super shiny doll-like hair. It seemed like as a kid, I had these unspoken parameters of what it meant to be Asian or a "beautiful" Asian female, and I didn't fit the requirements. I paired fair skin, straight hair, and round faces and bodies with beauty, and darker skin, coarse, wavy hair, and long, angular faces as not so attractive traits.
I internalized this for most of my childhood and young adult life. It's amazing what working with children will do for perception and reality checks. Children need role models, and healthy adults who love themselves enough to show them how to do the same. I started loving my self for the children I worked with, and now I do it for me. To all the little brown-skinned babies who internalized skin color hierarchies of self worth, I hear you. You are beautiful. beauty selflove skincolor gratitude children mentalhealth adolescence teenagers