Trying to cancel a service on my Vodafone NZ account. After I managed to tell someone that I had to be put through to the "cancellations" department and so they inflicted the worst hold music on the planet on me (The Carpenters, "It's Only Just Begun", but with extra noise added). After gritting my teeth through that appropriateness the phone was answered in newspeak by the "Customer Retentions Department", to warn me what the next five minutes were going to be about. Or perhaps I already knew.
After insisting that "why?" was none of their business, but yes I really did, and that no I did not want fries with that, and no really: no fries please. Yes, just cancel that thing. Right. Just that. Yes, no, I really just don't want that any more. Thanks. Goodbye.
I can't quite get rid of the landline yet, but I'm left wondering if maybe I shouldn't move my phone to a different provider. If only there was a nice one I could choose :-(